• Sameen Fatima

An Interview with a Confidence Coach

Updated: Dec 7, 2020

A confidence coach is someone who has the right knowledge and experience to help you build and boost your self-confidence, and to guide you on how to deal with low self-esteem issues. In any aspect of life, being confident really matters. Luckily, it's a trait that can be developed over time just like any other personality trait. All you need is good coaching from someone who can analyze you and your fears and provide a solution to them.

We recently interviewed one such confidence coach named Wahome GItonga who has been working in this area for quite sometime. We asked him questions related to his background story and how did he gain confidence. Let's see what he has to say about it!

Why did you become a confidence coach?

I know what it’s like, I felt powerless, alienated and like a victim due to years of holding anger from childhood bullies. I have battled a lack of intimacy, earning a low income and the feeling like you’re not living up to your potential. I have successfully overcome all of these and I want to show others the strategies I took. For them to see it is possible to transform their lives to and they don’t have to live life as a prisoner to past traumas or limiting beliefs.

I am a Master NLP practitioner and a fully qualified Cognitive Behavioural Coach. My passion is to help business owners, coaches and professionals to master their confidence, increase their income and bring more intimacy into their relationships.

What is your background/story?

Throughout my childhood I was a victim of years of childhood bullying. The bullying left me suffering with social anxiety, having trust issues, with my self-worth at rock bottom and walking around like I was carrying a heavy burden that followed me into my adult life. I never had the courage to share my ideas in meetings at work, I felt awkward in social situations and struggled to process in my career due to not having the confidence to take action.

I felt frustrated with constantly seeing the people around me having happy lives and getting the results they wanted while I felt like I was stuck in a loop repeating the same patterns that got me nowhere. I felt invisible in my job. I knew that in order to improve my quality of life, increase my income and have more impactful relationships I had to increase my confidence.

I started to invest in myself and develop knowledge around personal development through coaching, course trainings and putting myself in situations outside of my comfort zone. I started to grow my confidence, I was able to have the self-belief to go talk to my boss and get my pay rise. And then I was able to become more successful in my work. I felt seen, respected and happy with myself as a person.

As my confidence grew, I then got multiple progressions my income sky-rocketed allowing me to invest further in my own development and do more of the things I enjoyed doing without the fear of worrying about money. The feeling of carrying a heavy burden disappeared. Things started to really change for me and what I noticed is actually going on that journey and all the things I picked up along the way I could make such a difference to somebody if I could just show the path I had already walked.

I spent thousands of pounds on coaching and development courses to increase my confidence. One of my proudest achievements was becoming a stand-up comedian and completing over 200 gigs. I also studied the practise of Orgasmic Meditation which taught me how to build intimacy, practise vulnerability and understand the masculine & feminine dynamics. For the past 3 years I have been coaching couples and single people on how to build intimacy in their relationships.

What time do you wake up in the morning and do you think it’s important to wake up early?

I am an early riser so I wake up at 5.00am every day and get to bed by 10.00pm. I do this to ensure that I maximize the time available to me. People are always complaining to me about time but we all have 24 hours in a day and if you start work at 9.00am then if you wake up at 5.00am that’s 3 hours extra before you leave for work you can be using your time for practices or a side hustle.

For me I like to start my day with some weight lifting followed by yoga, meditation and some written work. This allows me to begin my day with the feeling of accomplishment, feeling present and healthier. I am a firm believer that a healthy body and mind is the bedrock of a successful day.

So I believe it is essential for a better quality of life that people wake up and do some kind of spiritual and fitness practice to start the day off.

What’s a weird, funny story that recently happened to you?

A couple weeks back I was leading a morning meditation group and I wasn’t aware that my friend’s dog had entered the studio room. As I was guiding the students through one of the morning practices the dog climbed on my back and proceeded to howl. Luckily my students found the funny side of this.

Which is your favorite: broccoli, cucumber or asparagus and why?

I am a broccoli person. Since I was small I have always loved my broccoli. As I remember there was a superhero cartoon show about a man who ate broccoli and turned into a superhero. I've been hooked ever since.

What tools do you use in your coaching?

My coaching is based around NLP, Cognitive Behaviour Therapy, Orgasmic Meditation, Mindfulness, Body language and Tantra. I also use a lot of life experience by getting my clients to take actions and learn from their action taking.

Were you always confident?

While my confidence levels are very high I am not always confident. But I am always working on building my confidence through facing my fears, working on my weaknesses and taking actions. Building confidence is a continuous journey.

How did you gain confidence?

I gain confidence by first gaining clarity over what is blocking me. I did this by looking at past experiences that I am still holding on to, what limiting beliefs are running my mind and where I do not take action. I also self-reflected on what are my weaknesses and set about turning those into strengths.

The biggest confidence builder is by taking action as statistics say that only 1% of people take action. I am also looking at ways I can step outside of my comfort zone and take action that will stretch me and grow.

Why do you think confidence is important?

Confidence is at the bedrock of everything we do. If we don’t have confidence we will never take action, we will struggle to build intimacy in our relationships, we will struggle to gain a higher income and have a quality lifestyle.

I think it is vital that people are actively working on building their confidence in all areas of their life. 75% of us don’t know what we want or who we are. This creates problems as if we don’t have self-awareness of ourselves we will lack the confidence to communicate our needs to others or take actions that take us out of our comfort zones.

What would you say is the one thing that contributes most with confidence?

Action taking is the #1 factor to building confidence. If you don’t ever take action then you will never grow, you will always stay in your comfort zone and your results will always stay the same. As the Nike slogan states “Just do it”. If you want a relationship you have to take action by going out and meeting people or if you want to overcome your fear of public speaking the only way to conquer this is to go out and do public speaking.

Why should someone work with a coach?

If you are looking to overcome your lack of confidence or if you feel quite confident and you’re looking for that next level of confidence in life to reach higher targets. If you want to discover how to increase the intimacy in your relationships whether with yourself or a partner.

And finally if you want to increase your income through using your passions and values to create a passive income for yourself.

If you could write one motivating sentence for anyone reading this what would it be?

People are always searching for love externally forgetting that the most nourishing love they will ever feel is the love they have for themselves. Stop looking for love & approval externally and start looking at how you can love yourself more and base your actions & decisions on your own approval.

"Learn to love yourself more and you will find the freedom you were after."

If you are struggling with lack of confidence, we have a workshop coming for you "The Hidden Secrets Behind Building Confidence" on 12th December, 2-3 PM GMT. The workshop will give you some insights on some useful techniques to develop confidence and overcoming your fears. Get your tickets here

From social events like Speed Friending, Deeper Dating to self-help workshops and meditation sessions - we run all kinds of events! You can check our upcoming events here

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